Tuesday, 13 May 2008

I apologise for my musings.

So: Am I really so wrong to feel like this?

Is it really so stupid and trivial to feel as if there is something wrong with you if no one of the opposite sex is interested in you? Surely this does not show that I am disillusioned, but merely that I have a logical mind that jumps to conclusions.

Why shouldn't my self-esteem be dented by lack of admirers? Even the least evolutionarily advantageous seem to find partners... and of course all of my friends seem to be fighting off guys... how could I not conclude something negative about myself? Why is it seen as such a weakness to wish that somebody felt affection towards you? Mostly it doesn't bother me and I know it isn't important. However, there are occasions when I feel completely positive about myself and I just think about it logically and as a detached problem. I wonder what is so off-putting that I have received only one or two interested glances in my whole life and these have all turned out to be nothing - someone saw something in me that reminded them of another, or someone was interested in me as the alternative to their first choice. There are so many things I deplore in myself but I can't believe that they are so close to the surface.

1 comment:

onar said...

oh dear... nobody has ever looked at me either.. I seems to be rather repulsive for the other gender. But.. that doesn't mean there sth wrong in me, and surely not in you!!! It is not as it seems.. as my grandma and my mum after her used to say, better wait for ages than get wasted. In other words, to quote my favourite bit of Mulan " the last flower to bloom is always the most beautiful. " xxxx